Me: “Good evening sir, how may I help you?”

Customer: “I want a good movie.”

Me: “Of course. I recommend Pan’s Labyrinth… it was excellent.”

Coworker: “You are aware that this movie has subtitles.”

Customer: “What the s*** is that?”

Coworker: “The words at the bottom you have to read. It’s in Spanish.”

Customer: “What the f*** is that? We’re in America, we don’t speak Spanish! I want it in American!”

(He storms off and promptly returns with Apocalypto.)

Me: “Sir, you do know this movie has subtitles, too?”

Customer: “What the f***? What is this country coming to? When did we become another country?! I want a g**d*** American movie! Where are the American movies?”

Me: “The store is full of movies made in America.”

(He walks back up about 10 minutes later with Letters From Iwo Jima in his hand.)

Customer: “This is the movie by Clint Eastwood, right?”

Coworker: “Yes, it is.”

Me: “And it’s really good, too.”

Customer: “Clint Eastwood is a real American. He knows what I like!”

(I give a look to my coworker who doesn’t say anything this time, and we rent him the movie. Too bad Letters From Iwo Jima is all in Japanese with English subtitles.)